look at my reflection,
find that I have been growing up vigorously,
but not vigorous enough to be counted grown.
What I mean by growing up is not just about physically,
but also mentally, emotionally.
For a brief moment,
I'm really afraid of growing up.
Growing up is an irreversible phase.
How can I enjoy growing up,
when I haven't completely enjoyed being young and naive?
But deep down I know,
I would never completely enjoy being young and naive even if time permitted,
I think this is why growing up sounds cruel and brutal.
I followed my dad to work today as well.
Today was much more terrible than yesterday.
My dad went to have lunch with his customers,
3 of them.
Being the only teenager eating with 4 adults,
3 strange,
wasn't an easy thing to deal with.
Worst happened when we finished our meal,
realized that the cauliflowers were remained abundantly.
They said I was young,
so I had to finish them.
Worst thing wasn't I had to finish them,
but I hated cauliflowers and I still had to finish them.
And today,
when I was 'working' with my dad,
since I had lots of time to do my own stuff,
I started contemplating about my future.
That is one thing I'm really afraid of,
which is getting rich, arrogant, ostentatious, ignorant bitches as my friends in college life.
I don't know why and where the feelings happened,
maybe I'm growing up?
Special message to Michelle:
You will not see this too.
We din't know each other well in Senior 1,
but we do in Senior 2.
That's because we both want to leave school after Senior 2,
and I remember attending some education fairs with you.
You are really lucky,
not only because you know me,
but also you have the chance to further your study in UK,
girl, seize it, not everybody has it.
But you always are lazy,
I know you would never change this,
this is your inborn characteristic.
One thing I like about you is,
you speak good English.
Every time when I find out some cool music or movies,
I will immediately like: I have to tell Michelle this.
But almost all the time,
you just act nonchalant,
and I know you din't listen to all the songs I've suggested to you did you?!
One more suggestion,
grinning doesn't suit you,
smiling does,
every time you open your mouth too large,
you just seem like animal.
Don't need to talk much,
we still have Bastille's.
